Confidence.

I have confidence. In my looks. I look good. I have a clear complexion. I have a decent body (getting better all the time!). I have breasts (and a new Vicky's bra with a low cut top...). Kari did my hair today. I am looking fine. If I do say so myself...

And if I DIDN'T say so myself, I know a couple others who would. I refuse to keep silent about all that has transpired tonight just because it was under the influence of alcohol. I rarely have the chance to kiss (and I mean KISS) two boys in one night. Nor do I often get punched in the face by an angry girl. I was ON tonight. I was looking FINE. I am fine. I am beautiful. I'm worth the whole enchilada. Never forget that, Amanda Arlene. YOU ARE WORTH EVERYTHING YOU EVER DREAMED OF. AND MORE.

So it started with a fairly innocent flirtation. He came by asking me all sorts of questions. The only question I asked was answered by a number that can only be described as "too young". He wanted to dance. He wanted to kiss. He also wanted to play both sides. He kept leaving me for others. I didn't like being abandoned.

Alex was there when I was left alone by "too young". He talked to me. Really talked. He kissed too, but mostly he talked. He made the unfortunate choice of ending a particular conversation with "Would you want to come home with me?" I looked at the guy next to me with my eyebrows raised and said, "Wow, what a charmer, huh?" Alex was totally remorseful. Well, remorseful enough, I suppose. He knew that floated my boat like a ton of bricks.

Somehow Alex ended up with my number. Not exactly from me so much as a coworker...but, none the less...

Less than thirty minutes after I left the bar Alex called. Asked me out for dinner. I guess I could say I have a date on Thursday. Not sure if he is looking for what I am. Not sure if he is what I'm looking for. All I know is he sounded very sorry about his comment about taking me home.

The moral of the story is the same, regardless. Confidence draws men like flies. When that girl threw that punch at me (in response to what provocation, I still have no clue!) she had at least 5 men flock to her....in my defense!! They pushed her out of the bar and protected me. Whether any of this leads to anything is beside the point, I suppose. Mostly, the point is this:

I STILL GOT IT, BABY!!

(whether it will attract anyone worth keeping is, of course, yet to be seen, but damn it, I can still have them falling at their knees!!) Sometimes all a girl needs is the myth of "good enough", even if the repetition aloud does not quite sink in. It will sink in. I'm sure of it. Someday. Probably...
till then, I HAVE A DATE!!!