Love Hurts

From personal experience (and more recently, observation), it astounds me how much we try to change ourselves to make others like us the way we are. We are so desperate to be loved for who we are, we change who we are to be more palatable to someone else. What a crock.

For example, one of my friends is dating a boy, they both like each other, they both are pretty excited by the potential for a relationship, but my friend seems embarrassed by certain key elements of her own personality. She is a devout Christian and has saved virtually all physical experiences with men for that someone special. I see this as a huge part of who she is, it tells you so much about her priorities and needs. It goes almost without saying that she needs to take it slow, she needs to be romanced, she needs to be listened to carefully. However, in disclosing this information to this boy, she's making it into a big deal, as if he will run when he finds out. RIDICULOUS! If he doesn't get it, then they weren't meant to be together. If he doesn't get it, then he doesn't get her, and it's best that all of it gets figured out early on.

Of course, I am one to talk...I've been known to throw myself in front of the same train. I think it has something to do with a fear of being alone forever, not being worthy of love, not being good enough, but also about being scared of someone seeing us as we are. In the same breath, I say I am afraid of being alone, I also say I'm afraid of someone getting too close.

Why can't we just let go of all that baggage? Why can't we just allow our emotions and affections to take their course without imposing our own agendas on them?